Saving The World Fox News Style
As regular readers may know, I do not own a television set, thus saving myself the torture of watching both CNBC and Fox News (never having watched it before I got rid of my TV, I would have been entirely Fox News free had it not been for that fact that every public place with a TV has Fox News on it). For those who don't know, I have a particularly bad attitude when it comes to anything to do with Ruppert Murdoch (which is why I refuse to link to the once great Wall Street Journal). Last night I chose to dine in a local McDonalds, not that they have particularly good food, but they do have free WiFi, giving me a chance to eat and get some work done at the same time. well, they also have a very nice big screen television right in the center of the dining area, and yes, you guesed it, Fox News. Last night was particularly good, as we were treated to yet another round of propaganda about the "poor" being not really poor. Last night it was John Stossel (I'm not looking it up, so if I spelled it wrong, too bad) found a panhandler who, as it turns out, doesn't really need the money she collects from people, she does it just because she can pull it off. Stossel's logical conclusion: ALL people who are "needy" really are just pulling our legs, just like the young woman in question. This, after a show I saw (at the gym) where a guy was whining about the bottom 50% of income earners not paying income taxes (I am still waiting for his explanation of how people with zero income are supposed to pay taxes on zero income). Anyway, these guys might be right, so I got to thinking: what if I started thinking like a Fox News guy? Could I come up with a solution to our problems? Why, I think I have. Here is a brief outline:
1) Reverse the current tax laws so that rich people pay NO taxes, while poor people pay a graduated scale like this: Let's say your income is $20000 or less. That puts you below the poverty line (give or take a couple thousand), therefore, your tax rate is 100%. Then, going up the scale, the tax rate starts falling until, at $1 million and over, it becomes zero. If you, say, lose your job, and your income falls to zero, you have one week to find a new job or you are thrown into prison for tax evasion.
2) End the failed emancipation experiment- yes, that means re legalizing slavery, but this time we will do it right. Rather than have it race based (a really dumb idea), we take those deadbeat tax evaders we have thrown into prison, and sell them to the highest bidder. We solve several problems this way: 1) the income from this will easily reduce, if not eliminate, the Federal budget deficit: 2)unemployment will immediately be solved, because it will no longer be legal to be unemployed, and once you are, you will be "employed" as a slave anyway: 3) those pesky unions will disappear overnight when they have to compete with slave labor, thus losing their jobs, and becoming slaves themselves. Of course, we will have to find a better word than "slave" to use; I propose we have Ben Bernanke come up with a more palatably sounding name for it.
There, maybe watching Fox News wasn't such a bad idea after all.
1) Reverse the current tax laws so that rich people pay NO taxes, while poor people pay a graduated scale like this: Let's say your income is $20000 or less. That puts you below the poverty line (give or take a couple thousand), therefore, your tax rate is 100%. Then, going up the scale, the tax rate starts falling until, at $1 million and over, it becomes zero. If you, say, lose your job, and your income falls to zero, you have one week to find a new job or you are thrown into prison for tax evasion.
2) End the failed emancipation experiment- yes, that means re legalizing slavery, but this time we will do it right. Rather than have it race based (a really dumb idea), we take those deadbeat tax evaders we have thrown into prison, and sell them to the highest bidder. We solve several problems this way: 1) the income from this will easily reduce, if not eliminate, the Federal budget deficit: 2)unemployment will immediately be solved, because it will no longer be legal to be unemployed, and once you are, you will be "employed" as a slave anyway: 3) those pesky unions will disappear overnight when they have to compete with slave labor, thus losing their jobs, and becoming slaves themselves. Of course, we will have to find a better word than "slave" to use; I propose we have Ben Bernanke come up with a more palatably sounding name for it.
There, maybe watching Fox News wasn't such a bad idea after all.
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